Sibling Rivalry

At the beginning of the Bible, Cain kills his brother Abel (Genesis 4: 8.) Even the first family had sibling conflict, anger ... and murder! Even the first family was dysfunctional -- I am not sure if that is encouraging to the rest of us, or not....

Sibling rivalry and strife, although not always deadly, persist throughout the Old Testament. Jacob and Esau in Genesis, chapters 25 to 36, are another pair of brothers; their rivalry, with Jacob's cunning and deceit, almost come to blows at various times. Jacob then marries two sisters, Leah and Rachel, whose child-bearing fights propagate through their handmaids, leading to twelve sons through four mothers.

The twelve brothers (really four sets of brothers, with rivalries between half-brothers) escalates as Joseph boasts of his dreams, and reaches a climax in violence, where Joseph is thrown into a well, threatened with death and then sold into slavery. Later, the rivalry between their descendants, within the twelve tribes of Israel, is an undercurrent throughout all of the Old Testament history, bursting out into genuine civil war at numerous times.

Abimelech, in Judges 9: 1-6, murders his half-brothers, in an attempt to rule the local region.

Even King David's home is no better. His son, Ammon, rapes Tamar, a daughter of David (and so a half-sister of Ammon.) In retaliation, Tamar's brother, Absalom, murders Ammon (2 Samuel 13) and then, when David refuses for to reconcile with Absalom, Absalom attempts a coup.  He is eventually killed by David's general and nephew, Joab. (Playing parts in this civil war are cousins Absalom, Joab and Amasa.) All of the family strife in David's palace probably grows out of David's own deceit, with adultery followed by the murder of Uriah.

David's sons Solomon and Adonijah then fight for David's throne. Solomon eventually has his rival older brother killed. (1 Kings 2: 22-25.)

Jehoram, in 2 Chronicles 21: 1-4, kills his brothers in order to prevent any attempts on his throne.

Sometimes these siblings worked through their conflict. Esau and Jacob are reconciled (Genesis 33.) Rachel and Leah, despite their conflicts, seem to at least co-exists as wives of Jacob. (A Christianity Today article, by Dena Dyer, tackles Rachel, Leah and leadership rivalries.)

In other cases, the rivalry ended in murder. Usually the eventual death of the murderer is recorded. Abimelech is killed by a thrown millstone (Judges 9: 52-54) and remembered for centuries for his foolishness in allowing a woman to kill him (even though the final blow was from an assistant.) Absalom is killed by Joab. Jehoram experiences a rather gruesome death (2 Chronicles 21: 18-19.)

Much of the Old Testament serves as a history of ancient, dramatic events, and so sibling reconciliation seems to occur rarely, as conflict is more likely to influence a change in history. But we do, at least, have examples of sibling love and support. In addition to the eventual reconciliation of Jacob and Esau, we see brothers Moses and Aaron leading Israel out of Egypt. Even Absalom's murder of his half brother Ammon, is an act of support for Absalom's sister, Tamar, punishment for Ammon's rape.

As we continue in our study of the Old Testament, I will look for other examples of both family dysfunction and family health.