Even a brief skim of Old Testament passages reveals stark and narrow gender roles, gender roles inherited from the ancient Near East culture in which the Old Testament is immersed.
In the ancient Near East, late in the bronze age, life was vulnerable and often short. Survival in this agrarian society, amidst drought, famine, and tribal war, meant that one should be part of a large tribal community with large flocks and resources. Men were to develop and protect herds of sheep and cattle; men were to have large families and women were to align themselves to such men and have as many children as possible. The goal of men like Abraham and Jacob was to have a rich company of wives, children and animals; the goals of women like Sarah and Rachel was to give these men as many sons as possible and oversee that household, protecting the children, pastures, and home.
Women
From Eve's remark in Genesis 4: 1, through Sarah's offer of her servant Hagar to Abram (Genesis 16: 1-2), on through Rachel's passionate plea of Jacob (Genesis 30: 1), we see women's fervent desire for motherhood. In I Samuel 1, Hannah, before the altar, prays fervently for a child -- her lips are moving so the priest thinks she is drunk! -- and despite her husband's declaration of love, she is not satisfied. In Genesis 38, Tamar resorts to prostitution in order to have a child. The book of Ruth describes the work of Naomi to provide her daughter-in-law with a "redeemer" (see Ruth 4: 13-15.)
The narrow roles of men as fathers/providers and women as mothers will seem strange to our culture but simply reflects the culture of the Bronze Age three or four millennia ago. The patriarchal society, with its polygamy, is not an instruction of the Old Testament but a reflection of the ancient Near East. In reporting this history, the Old Testament does not gloss over the effects of this culture. Polygamy leads to jealousy, anger and intrigue; the role of women leads to rape (of Tamar, daughter-in-law of Judah, Genesis 34, of an unnamed concubine, Judges 19, of Tamar, daughter of David, II Samuel 13) and other forms of sexual abuse. Women are often viewed as property and are given away or taken back. (Samson's wife is given to another man by her father, Judges 14:20; King Saul gives away one of David's wives, I Samuel 25: 44.) Women might be the spoils of war (Judges 5:30.) Women seemed to have little say in whom they married or with whom they had sexual relations. It is within this patriarchal culture that the covenant of Moses provides some protection -- women had some protection against divorce and rape. In the Deuteronomic Law, captured women were to be carefully treated; women captured in war were not to be sex slaves but were allowed to marry and were to be given time to adjust to that marriage.
At times the Old Testament relates stories of women who were leaders (Deborah, Jael, Esther) or prophetesses (Miriam, Deborah, Judges 4, Huldah, II Kings 22: 14)
"While women are not generally in the forefront of public life in the Bible, those women who are named are usually prominent for reasons outside the ordinary. ... Abigail, David's wife, Esther the Queen, and Jael who drove a tent peg into the enemy commander's temple while he slept, are a few examples of women who turned the tables on men with power. The founding matriarchs are mentioned by name, as are some prophetesses, judges, heroines, and queens, while the common woman is largely, though not completely, unseen."
Some fascinating aspects of the role of women can be seen in the two Old Testament books named after women: Ruth and Esther. In the book of Ruth, we see Ruth (carefully guided by her mother-in-law), proposing to Boaz, followed by Boaz's public negotiation for the hand of Ruth. (Most of that book is told from a woman's point of view!) In the book of Esther, the story opens with Queen Vashti ignoring her husband's call to display herself at a banquet. In response to her insubordination, the king's nobles worry that Vashti is encouraging women to disrespect their husbands! Thus Vashti is exiled and Esther enters the scene.
The role of women in the ancient Near East was more complicated and subtle than I have described it above. The complexity can be seen in Proverbs 31: 13-31, where a woman is an expert merchant, cares for the poor and speaks with wisdom. The Song of Songs describes romantic (and erotic!) love, a love that did not emphasize having children. There are other places which make it clear that a woman was valued more than as a mother of children. But motherhood was certainly the most obvious role.
Men
The Torah assumes (mandates) that good men would be good husbands and fathers. They might have numerous wives but were to care for them and not mistreat them. Even if a man loved his second wife more than his first wife, he could not take away the "first wife" role from her. A man was not to covet wives and concubines of another man.
In this ancient culture, where reproduction (and thus sex) play central roles in one's standing in society, we also see a strange rite. When Abram is promised by YHWH that he will be a father of many nations, that promise of a great tribe, "as many as the stars in the sky", is sealed by cutting the foreskin of Abram's penis. The rite of circumcision directly connects a man's penis to this promise of fathering a large nation. From then on, for those in the covenant, a man demonstrated his membership in the covenant by having his reproductive organ cut and women demonstrated their membership in this ancient covenant by their connection to such a man. (I think this explains Zipporah's actions in Exodus 4: 25-26; she identifies herself with her circumcised husband and son.)
For a Christian reading the Old Testament, it is important to recognize that the text is usually descriptive, not prescriptive. There is no need to defend polygamy. This is history; we need not defend that patriarchal viewpoint. I, for one, am relieved that we no long live in the ancient Near East culture!
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